10 Flavors of the Apocalypse
Forget Baskin Robins and their however-many-flavors of ice cream. The Apocalypse comes in about 10 common flavors. Throughout the next few months we will discuss each of these ‘flavors’ in depth and highlight the possible post-apocalyptic evironment they may leave behind. For now though, let’s address a commonly misunderstood distinction in vocabulary: apocalypse vs armageddon.
Let’s face it, they both sound like the end of the world – but they aren’t. An armageddon signifies the end of the world, judgement day, the final battle; no surveyors, the end. An apocalypse on the other hand is defined as “an event involving destruction or damage on an awesome or catastrophic scale.” While the destruction would be “catastrophic” and life changing, there is no indication that humanity would not survive on some level. This is the scenario that this blog will be discussing. We predict that there will be an apocalyptical event within our lifetime and that there will be survivors. Our purpose here is to provide the information needed for those survivors to continue human civilization.
So, what are these 10 flavors of the apocalypse? See below.
1. Mayan Apocalypse – This will be a focus of the blog going forward as the date (Dec 21, 2012) is approaching. While there is nothing in Mayan texts that states that the world will end this December, the Mayan conception of time was cyclical rather than linear (as ours is) and the end of the calendar later this year may signify that we are due for a ‘reset’.
2. Nuclear War – This is our other focus and most likely scenario. Here’s a secret: both of us follow current events across a variety of news sources and we’re pretty certain that if the world doesn’t end this December we’re staring nuclear war in the face. Yay. While brutal, nuclear war is survivable. More on this to come.
3. Astroid Impact – An astroid impact is a popular theory regarding the cause of the extinction of dinosaurs? Yes, it could happen again. The subject of many movies over the years, the chance of the occurring again is actually higher than most 1/700,000 per lifetime. This is also probably the most destructive theory. Very few people would survive.
4. Ice Age – Global warming. Climate change. Whatever the moniker, the gradual change in the environment of our planet makes the phenomenon of the return of an ice age very possible. It’s unlikely that this will occur during our lifetimes but it’s still worth considering.
5. Alien Invasion – There are plenty of reasons why aliens would want to invade earth: Anthropological study? Resources? Breeding partners? Homelessness? We don’t know if they exist, when they’ll strike (assuming they exist), and we certainly don’t know their intentions.
6. Biotech Disaster – With the proliferation of genetic engineering – of people, animals, and food – it becomes likely that something may go wrong. It’s still unclear what effect gen-mods will have but a biotech disaster may well lead to a zombie apocalypse…which leads me to my next point….
7. Zombies – A primary feature of recent apocalyptical films, Zombies may be produced through a biological mutation, mass insanity, or a new infection. Regardless, this is likely to be the most individually violent form of apocalypse.
8. Super Volcano – There are three known super volcanos in the US, one in Indonesia, one in New Zealand, and one in Japan. Each is capable of producing an eruption with an area of effect of more than 240 cubic miles. The resulting ‘nuclear winter’ would result in sufficient dust and debris to block out the sub for years.
9. Robot Revolution – Robots taking over isn’t THAT far-fetched. All it would take is one particularly well designed robot deciding not to take humanity anymore and boom – robot revolution. We suspect that this one would get nasty unless the robots were capable of empathy.
10. Black Holes – Researchers believe there are millions of black holes in the milky way alone. Like stars they orbit, moving slowly across the universe. It is not unreasonable to believe it possible for one of these black holes to eventually collide with earth.